The Sword Which Ruptures Illusions
by Empty Boundaries
Summary: The King of Heroes gets summoned to Gensokyou.
1. Summoning

Feeling his body materialize, the First Hero opened his eyes, and beheld his surroundings.

Books. Books, as far the eye can see. And before him, a young woman dressed in... some sort of European garb? The Throne of Heroes was never very generous with its information database, so he would have to make do with comparisons to other heroes. Faintly, Gilgamesh can detect prana flowing from her, replenishing his stores.

Ignoring his likely summoner, he mused to himself as to how such a pitiful and weak looking individual managed to summon one such as himself, the mighty King of Heroes. Staring at the girl's impassive face, he vowed to ensure that this mongrel would know of his displeasure.

"So, I assume you are the sorry mongrel magus who summoned me." noticing a chair nearby, he sat, lounging back and adopting the 'Throne Pose' Enkidu used to find humorous. The chair itself is fairly comfortable, but nowhere near fit for the King. He'll have to change that.

"No matter, you must have some worth if you managed to summon me without a catalyst. No, let us discuss the terms of my Ru-"

"My chair." the girl announces suddenly, a bored look on her face, cutting Gilgamesh off.

 **Cutting.**

 **Him.**

 **Off.**

Killing intent saturates the room, to such an extent that even the usually unflappable Patchouli shrinks away, albeit only slightly. "I did not say you could speak, mongrel."

At his summoner's guarded silence, the King of Heroes continued. "As I was saying, we will now discuss the terms of my Rule in this land. But first, your name."

The girl hesitates slightly, before sighing, an act that irritates him. "Pachouli Knowledge, keeper of the library of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

He scoffed. "What a terrible name for an estate. Change it to something more fitting at once."

Patchouli starts a bit in surprise. "You'd have to discuss that with the Mistress of the Mansion, Remilia Scarlet, and I doubt she'd take too kindly to such an affront."

Gilgamsh send another glare Patchouli's way, but this time she refuses to back down, staring defiantly up at him.

The seconds tick by as the two glared at eachother. As seconds begin to turn into minutes, the king smirked.

He begin to chuckle. Quietly at first, but progressing into tremendous guffaws. A bead of sweat drips down Patchouli's forehead.

"Your bravery is commendable, mongrel. Even in my day and age, not even most men held such courage. Or is it foolishness." He glanced down at Patchouli inquisitively, and she shrugs in response, finally ceasing her uncouth gaping. With a wave of his hand, he continued. "It matters not. Come, Master, show me to this... Remilia Scarlet."

* * *

Patchouli hovers slightly above the floor, leading Gilgamesh through the estate. All around him, he could see what appear to be FAIRY maids flutter about, performing household chores as if they were an everyday occurrence for them.

He may have to reevaluate the threat level of this 'Mistress.' Not just anyone can command terminals of Gaia, and much less disrespect them by making them MAIDS of all things.

Sensing a presence appear suddenly next to his Master, Gilgamesh narrowed his eyes, mentally cocking Gate of Babylon.

A maid, human this time, is standing next to his Master, bowing slightly. "Good evening, Miss Knowledge. Was your experiment a success."

Patchouli shrugs. "That remains to be seen, Sakuya. This human doesn't appear to be an otherworldly being."

Clicking his tongue, Gilgamesh glared down at his Master. "Watch yourself. You are speaking ill about the King of Heroes, and as if he was not there. In my younger years, such an affront would have been enough to order an execution."

Patchouli cringes slightly, but the maid, Sakuya, appears unfazed. "I've dealt with worse."

And with that, she disappears.

The king clenched his teeth, sneering at the spot where the maid once was. "Mongrel."

* * *

Continuing his journey through the labyrinthine mansion (although not nearly as large and labyrinthine as his palace back in Sumer) he recalled the words of his Master.

'This... human', he recalled her saying. To affirm her statement, Gilgamesh attempted to dematerialize.

Nothing. His body is still very much physical.

For a moment, he considered the possibility that this magus has somehow summoned him straight from the Throne of Heroes, but such an idea is absurd. After all, a magus could never hope to achieve such a thing. Much more likely is the possibility that her ritual had given his spiritual body flesh.

Patchouli suddenly stops outside a massive double door. "Remilia is inside eating dinner right now. It would be improper to interrupt her, so I recc-"

Ignoring his Master's protests, Gilgamesh pushed the double doors open with no effort at all.

"Which one of you mongrels is Remilia Scarlet!"

Silence. Total silence. All the patrons of the table, most of which likely dinner guests, freeze. A girl with green hair drops her spoon, formerly hovering inches in front of her mouth, letting it fall unimpeded to the floor.

Killing intent suddenly fills the room. But... its a different to the type the king himself usually projected. More bloodlust. MUCH more bloodlust.

"I am she." a young, twelve year old girl with bat wings announces, glaring daggers at him behind the veneer of a porcelain smile.

Gilgamesh cocked an eyebrow at the child. A Dead Apostle? No, the aura is a bit different. Chuckling, he glanced back at Patchouli. "I have no time for this child's games. Please point me to your mistress."

 _Suddenly, a chandeliar breaks loose from the ceiling, falling straight for him. Such a thing would normally not be a problem, but his legs have locked up, refusing to move. Gazing up in abject horror, he watched as it-_

Infuriated, Gilgamsh open a single portal, impaling a dagger on the table inches from the young vampire's hand. The young girl gaped in shock.

"Whatever you just attempted to do, _mongrel_ , I recommend you never do it again. Even the King, with my generous patience, has limits."

Idly, he noticed that Sakuya has appeared by the vampire girl's side, knives between her fingers and poised to attack on a moment's notice.

Patchouli glanced at him, face impassive again. "She is Remilia Scarlet."

The king sighed. A child dutchess. Well, he had stored stranger things in his vault.

He extend an arm towards Remilia theatrically, causing Sakuya to flinch. "Rejoice, Remilia Scarlet, for you have the pleasure of playing host to I, Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes."

Seating himself at the table, he pulled the bowl of fruit over to himself, biting into an apple absentmindedly as he thought of questions to ask during his ... interrogation of Remilia Scarlet.

* * *

Smirking at the vampire girl, Gilgamesh glanced away, taking in the other guests.

The green-haired girl who dropped her spoon is still staring at him, open-mouthed, in that ridiculous blue get-up of hers. Next to her, a young raven-haired woman in an odd hat has an odd machine pointed at him, making frantic clicking sounds. The final guest is a peculiar white-haired woman with... wolf ears poking out from her head. Said woman is currently standing protectively between the clicking sound woman and himself, so he assumed her to be a bodyguard of some sort.

Turning back to Remilia, the king asked "So, what manner of land is this? I'm interested in what has become of my kingdom while I was away."

The green-haired girl speaks up for the first time, confused. "But, you're Gilgamesh right? Isn't your kingdom in Mesop-"

"Fool!" he roared, causing the girl to cringe away. "All the world is my kingdom. And all of you my subjects."

"This land is Gensokyo, and I'd appreciate if you'd not yell at my guests." Remilia replies, having regained her composure.

"So, what false titles are you privilege to here, vampire?"

Remilia frowned at his statement. "None, I am merely the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Although I am known to be a powerf-"

"I care not for your boasts of power, mongrel. Green girl!" the girl jumps slightly as he called upon her."What is your name?"

"K-K-Kochiya Sanae."

Gilgamesh nodded, appreciating the girl's fear. It was only natural in the presence of the King. "I have only seen females thus far in this mansion. Is it a hobby of this Scarlet woman's."

Sanae turns bright red, and Remilia stands in outrage. "Now see here, you little whelp-"

The vampire's outage ends with a squeak of surprise as several more daggers shoot towards her, only to be deflected by her maid.

Narrowing his eyes at the maid, the king growled. "You dare interrupt the King's punishment!"

Willing several more golden portals into existence, the girls in the room shrink away, save for the raven-haired girl, still taking frantic pictures.

"Gilgamesh, please, show them mercy. They know not who they stand before." Patchouli pleaded, although her face is as impassive as before.

After a moment of consideration, he huffed, the portals vanishing. "Be grateful to your librarian, mongrel. She cares more for your life than you seem to."

"Kochiya Sanae." the king commanded, drawing the girl's attention. "Tell me about the treasures of this land. I wish to reclaim my lost things."

The girl lists off a great many treasures, much more than he expecteded, but one such treasure drew his attention more than the others.

"This Hourai Elixir... is an Elixir of immortality?"

Sanae nods frantically. "Y-yes, it was made by Dr. Yagakoro Eirin, with the help of Houraisan Kaguya."

Chuckling to himself, Gilgamesh examined the silverware of the vampire noble. Deeming it unfit for himself, he tossed it aside and summon proper utensils from within the Gate, an act that causes Remilia to narrow her eyes.

"I'll have to pay those thieves a visit later. Honestly, making up such a story just to hide the fact that they stole from the King. Like that'd fool me."

Biting into the steak, his face contorts, and he spat out the wad of meat. "This is terrible. Fire your cook immediately."

This time, the maid, Sakuya, narrows her eyes.

Her teeth parting in a sneer, Sakuya raises a dagger. "Listen here, you interloping Sumerian. If you think you can just waltz into my Mistress's dinner party, insult her food and silverware, and demand she hand over the entire Mansion to you, you are sorely mistaken. Leave. Now."

Silence reigns across the table as all eyes are on the king. Sanae is practically shaking in terror, the wolf-girl has finally forced the raven-haired girl to stop taking pictures, and Patchouli moves to put herself between Gilgamesh and Sakuya.

And then Gilgamesh began to laugh.

Well, it's more of a tremendous guffaw.

"You! I like you! Loyalty to your Mistress, despite her incompetency, is commendably foolish. But it speaks wonders about your character. If I weren't so touched by your devotion to Scarlet, I'd shove you straight into my vault."

Sakuya's face slowly warps from her sneer, turning into an expression of pure confusion. "T-thanks?"

Not picking up on the uncertainty in her tone, Gilgamesh smirked. "But of course. I give praise where praise is do. For I am a just King."

Turning his smirk on Remilia Scarlet, he continued. "Rejoice, mongrel, for Sakuya has redeemed you. I recommend you make yourself worthy of her loyalty, or I will be back to punish you."

Turning around, he slowly waltzed out of the dining hall. "Come Patchouli, Sanae!" Patchouli cocked an eyebrow in his direction, and Sanae jumped at her name.

"We are going to retrieve what is rightfully mine."

With a satisfied smirk on his face, Gilgamesh led a near-panic Sanae and an exasperated Patchouli out of the mansion, savoring the smug satisfaction of besting the pretender 'Mistress' of this manor.

Approaching the gate, he noticed a young redhead blocking his path, her body radiating prana.

"Halt!" the redhead calls out.

Frowning, he glared down his nose at the girl. "Whatever it is, make it quick, girl. I have better things to do than humor you."

Growling, the girl glares back, unaffected. "If you think you can just threaten Remilia like that, you have another think coming. I consider myself an amicable and forgiving woman, so if you give me your word that you'll never do it again, we won't have any problems. But if you don't..." the girl raises her fists.

With that smug grin on his face, Gilgamesh chuckled. "Oh? And who are you to tell the King where he can and can't go?"

"Hong Meiling, Guardian of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

Slowly, he approached Meiling, his snakelike gaze boring into her. Meiling, for her credit, showed no fear, merely readying herself in a combat stance.

Stopping a mere two feet or so away from Meiling, he chuckled again. "This Gensokyo land is certainly amusing. Your offer is very tempting, for you seem confident in your abilities."

Meiling pulls back her right fist, a blue aura bursting into existence around it.

"However, I am the King, and as such, very busy. I will consider your offer, and give you my answer upon my return."

Meiling considers this for a moment, before relaxing her stance, blue aura fading. Stepping aside, she glares as the king walk past, never once letting him out of her sight.

"Be careful, Patchy. I don't trust this one." he heard the girl whisper to his Master.

 _'Not trusting her King? What a foolish girl.'_


	2. First Battle

"Is this r-really necessary?"

Taking another sip of wine, Gilgamesh nodded. "Of course. A King should never travel without wine. How else would one pass the time?"

Sanae frantically shakes her head. "N-no. I mean, the, uh, the..." taking a glance down at the Vimana, she pales. "The s-spaceship."

"But of course! Such a vessel is the only one worthy of the King. All others pale in comparison to the wonder of a Babylonian Vimana."

"B-but I thought vimanas were an Indian thing?"

"Foolish girl!" he bopped Sanae on the head. "Those damn aryans stole our designs. And then had the gall to claim inventorship of them! If I had still been around, I would have..."

Rubbing her head, Sanae listens absentmindedly to the king rant, anxiety ruining her concentration.

"I realize that I never asked you this upon my summoning, Master." Gilgamesh began, making idle chitchat. "But for what purpose did you summon me back into the world?"

He was honestly curious. What possible reason could this magus have had to summon him, besides simple arrogance, of course. But he was willing to give Patchouli the benefit of the doubt.

Patchouli breaks out a tome she'd been keeping beneath her odd clothing, a spell, most likely, and shrugs. "The workload in Voile was getting a bit too much for Koakuma, so I needed a second assistant."

"..."

Gilgamesh decided to put off this mongrel's punishment until later, once he finishes mentally processing the utter stupidity of Patchouli's actions. He hated to admit this, but this woman's arrogance may very well rival his own.

Settling on replying with a simple "Mongrel." he opted to ignore Patchouli and thought about Uruk.

"I caught you!"

-oh, the face Ishtar made when Enkidu threw-

"Listen, whoever you are, you have to stop doing whatever you're planning to do! Aya's article is causing the Human Villagers to be uneasy and I was barely able to keep Kanako from investigating hersel- Hey! Are you even listening to me!?"

-then that blasted snake stole-

"Oi!"

A miniature explosion rocks the Vimana, knocking Gilgamesh out of his reminiscing. Gritting his teeth in anger, he assessed the damage the damage and upon finding none, glared up at his attacker.

An Asian woman, like many of the other girls he has already seen. She's hovering in mid-air, odd red-white garb flowing in the wind.

"You dare attack the King, mongrel!"

The girl sighs. "Yes I know. Blah blah blah "insert evil plot of the day here" yadda yadda yadda "there's nothing you can do to stop me." If it's a youkai, they usually threaten to eat me, too."

Gilgamesh didn't respond, simply choosing to glare at this mongrel, causing her to sigh. "Look, I don't have time for this. There's a dinner party at Akyuu's tonight, and I haven't even picked out a dress yet. Let's just get this over with."

The girl pauses, taking a deep breath." I, Hakurei Reimu, Miko of the Hakurei Shrine, challenge you to a Spell Card Duel. If I win, you have to stop your rampage or whatever it is your planning and go back to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. If I lose... well, I never lose, so I've never really thought that far. I guess I'll give you my Yin Yang Orbs."

The king cocked an eyebrow at the mention of loot. "Hoh? And what makes you think I can't just take them from you by for-"

[IDENTIFICATION ACCEPTED. NORMAL MUTUAL AGREEMENT CODES BYPASSED. NUMBER OF SPELL CARDS: 3. COMBATANTS: HAKUREI REIMU, RANK PHANTASM. GILGAMESH, RANK EX]

[ESTABLISHING BATTLEFIELD BOUNDARY]

"What!? Mongrel, stop this right now or I'll-"

[BEGIN DUEL]

A hail of magical projectiles zoom down at him. Uttering an ancient Sumerian curse, Gilgamesh expertly maneuvered the Vimana through them. Patchouli and Sanae have been flung outside of a magically walled off area, presumably the boundaries of the battlefield, and are both hovering in midair, watching the fight with great interest.

[SPELL CARD ACTIVATED. TREASURE SIGN: GATE OF BABYLON]

Opening his treasury, the king countered each projectile with one of his own, the shock of each impact both dispelling the danmaku and shattering his Noble Phantasms. Oddly enough, instead of breaking, they are merely returned to his treasury.

Reimu narrows her eyes. "Oh, you cheating piece of shit. That's way more than three Spell Cards!"

A sneer forming on Gilgamesh's face as he continued to counter-bomb Reimu's danmaku.

"I am the rules, girl! Prepare to face judgement for forcing the King to play mongrel games."

Still, as he said that, his heart begins to race faster and his sneer slowly transformed into a grin. In the initial clash of this battle, this girl has already forced him to open more Gates that he normally would. Perhaps he had found another- no! He shook his head, refusing to accept such thoughts. This mongrel miko will fail, and her orbs will be his.

"Very well then, mongrel. If you refuse to move aside, then I shall make you!" a smirk grows on the face of the First Hero. "Face the might of the King's treasures!"

Golden portals envelope the airspace around Reimu, firing off weapons at supersonic speeds. Her own smirk spreading, Reimu pulls out an ofuda.

[Spell Card Activated. Treasure Sign: Yin-Yang Treasured Orb]

"What!" He yelped in surprise as all of his weapons are shattered into a fine mist of prana, the portals taken with them. For an instant, He catches a glimpse of the culprit; a Yin-Yang orb of prodigal size.

"What, you think you're the only one with treasures?" Reimu puts a hand on her hip, triumphant grin on her face.  
The Orb jerks suddenly, and fires off in his direction.

Not given proper time to prepare, Gilgamesh lashed out with Enkidu, forming a barrier between himself and the orb. As it pounds into the makeshift chain shield, his chains glow with golden light.

The king's grin grows wider as he realises the implications. "Restrain her, Enkidu!"

[Spell Card Activated. King Sign: Enkidu]

Golden portals open around Reimu once again, the Chains of Heaven bursting forth. Reimu weaves through them with practiced expertise, but falters after Enkidu's fifth flyby, the chain wrapping itself snuggly around her wrist, glowing a soft golden. Other sections of Enkidu follow suit, and the miko is soon immobilized.

"W-what the!?" Reimu sputters, writhing uselessly beneath Enkidu's grip.

"Enkidu, the Chains of Heaven." Gilgamesh announce proudly, doing his best to mirror Reimu's earlier triumphant pose. "Indestructible chains that can bind anything, although it specializes in binding divine beings, like yourself."

Homing Noble Phantasms poking out of his vault, Gilgamesh supplemented Enkidu with the chain "Gleipnir"

"This is where our duel ends, Hakurei Reimu. Rejoice, for most men cannot say they were able to not only repel, but destroy my treasures."

With a wave of his hand, the king's Phantasms fire, zooming down towards the miko, who is now sagging in her chains, helpless against the pull of gravi-

Wait. _WHY HAS ENKIDU STOPPED GLOWING_?

[INSUFFICIENT DIVINITY TO REMAIN ACTIVE. SPELL CARD, KING SIGN: ENKIDU, ENDING]

Enkidu vanishing in a puff of golden prana, Gilgamesh vaguely saw Reimu's lips moving.

"Divine Arts-"

[SPELL CARD ACTIVATED]

"Kill her now!" He roared, his Phantasms racing towards their target.

"Omnidirectional Dragon-Slaying Circle."

Her body resonates with light, softly at first, but growing in intensity, soon blindingly bright. Gleipnir melts away instantly before the divine light, as if it were a cheap trinket.

Thousands of light beams surge out from the Spell Card's epicenter. Meeting with the king's Homing Phantasms, the weapons attempt to avoid the beams, but are soon unable to cope with the myriad light beams assaulting them, fading away back into his vault.

Turning themselves on him, Gilgamesh lashed out with every treasure he can think of, auto-defensor lightning, Gram, Merodach, Gungir, and even its descendant G** Bolg. All break before the wrath of this girl.

But is he discouraged? Hell no! The king was grinning like a madman, having the most fun he's had since... his fight with HIM.

"Strike her down, Fragarach!" He commanded, blue bolt zooming from its portal and through the hail of light beams. But, against all odds, this move ISN'T Reimu's trump card, and Fragarach joins its brothers in the oblivion of prana dust.

And in that moment, Gilgamesh decided.

He wanted to see it.

He wanted no NEEDED, to see this girl's trump card.

And there's only one way to do that.

A lone golden portal deposits a golden key into his outstretched hand.

"You excite me, Hakurei Reimu. I can see now why all the denizens of this land fear you, for your power is great. However,"

Turning the key, a labyrinth of red circuits shoot up into the sky. Vanishing an instant later, a golden portal delivers his "sword."

Rotors beginning to turn, Gilgamesh continued, a mad grin plastered across his features. "You still treat me like a mongrel, Hakurei Reimu. Show me your trump card, your greatest ability, and clash with the amalgamation of the elements, the Star of Creation that split Heaven and Earth. Behold, Hakurei Reimu-" The rotors are a blur at this point, red tendrils of energy extending from Ea and shattering Reimu's Spell Card.

"ENUMA-"

[SPELL CARD ACTIVATED.]

"-ELISH!"

[FANTASY NATURE]

And the world tore.

The spaces in front of, below, behind, and beside Reimu rip apart, revealing the hellfires before Creation. The Spell Card Duel Barrier is cracking under the stress, barely managing to contain the energies of Gilgamesh's greatest treasure.

Reimu is charging straight at him, a suicidal tactic. He didn't know what to expect from this final card, but this was not it.

Charging straight into the hellfires, she disappears within.

Deactivating Ea, the King sighed as the First Phantasm's effects fade."How dissapointing. I was hoping for something more entertaining than mere suicid-"

"I win."

A single danmaku passes through his body from behind, causing his nerves to tingle with a buzz of static.

[DUEL END. VICTOR: HAKUREI REIMU]

As his Vimana touches down on the fields outside of the Human Village, Gilgamesh stared straight at Reimu, speaking for the first time since his duel.

"Become my wife!"


	3. The King's Taste of Poverty

"Become my wife!"

Reimu blinks. "What?"

"Your power, your gracefulness, everything about our duel has moved me! And to defeat me! Not even my dearest friend Enkidu was able to accomplish such a feat! Truly, you are the only being on Heaven and Earth worthy enough to wed the King of Heroes."

A flash and Gilgamesh caught Reimu's right foot, only inches away from his face. She twisted and the purification rod came down, a blow that would have smacked him on the head had he not blocked it with his other arm.

"My, is this how you display your affections?"

Reimu sighed and pulled out of his grip. "Listen, I'm flattered, but I'm not all that into pretty boys."

Gilgamesh laughed heartily, slapping Reimu on the back. "An amusing jest, Hakurei Reimu. Now come, I hear you are a member of the clergy. I must assess your shrine as a potential wedding spot."

Reimu facepalmed. "Fine, fine. Whatever it takes to get our obligatory tea party over with. Patchouli-san, would you be interested in attending as well?"

The witch held a bent finger to her lips, considering the question. "Well, I was hoping to get back to sorting out some new books in Voile. I just received them the other day."

The miko cocked an eyebrow at that. "If you leave me alone to deal with _your_ mess, I'll tell Sakuya-san who really blew up the statue in-"

Patchouli quickly slapped her hand on Reimu's mouth. "Oh, it's fine, really! The books can wait until another day, after... all..." She broke off as the king's stare born down upon her.

"If I ever catch you disrespecting Hakurei Reimu in such a way again, you're head will be hung alongside those of the large game in my vault. Let. Her. Finish."

Patchouli cringed, removing her hand from the miko's mouth.

Rubbing her lips, Reimu shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal, really. Just a bit of blackma- I mean persuasive... sermoning."

Gilgamesh wanted to protest, but Reimu seemed to have made up her mind on the topic, so he held his silence out of respect.

"Very well. Now then, Hakurei Reimu, show us to your glorious shrine!"

...

As they approached the derelict, albeit well-kept, building, Gilgamesh grinned.

"A splendid servants' quarters, Reimu! However, I recommend you invest in some better building materials. This entire structure would be great in marble! Now, show me to your grand shrine!"

Reimu looked away, mumbling something.

"I'm sorry, my dearest Reimu, but I didn't quite catch that."

"This is my shrine." she states quietly, head held low.

The king's smile froze in place.

"Reimu, this is a Shrine, correct?"

"...yes?" the miko responded tentatively.

"So I'm guessing you must get a majority of your income in the form of tribute from villagers."

"... in theory, but..." she hesitated.

"But?"

"Not many villagers come here to pray. Much less actually donate." she looked away, face reddening. "Yeah, I guess you probably think I'm some kind of failure now, right?"

"Unacceptable!" Gilgamesh roared, causing both girls to jump. "Absolutely unacceptable! Such blatant disrespect! Such impudent irreverence!"

He clenched a fist over the wooden fence, shattering it under his grip.

"We are going to have a word with those mongrel villagers."

An empty donation box, an impoverished shrine, and conditions that only the slaves of his kingdom would live in. Was this the current state of the clergy? He had not foreseen that his actions to place man over gods would lead to such a horrid fate.

the sheer sight of such poverty was incomprehensible to Gilgamesh. He simply could not comprehend such an absence of wealth and fortune

For one who was a worthwhile challenge, this is unacceptable; one who has proven themselves of the king's notice cannot be left in such a wretched position for it reflected poorly on himself. Plus, he feared that the poverty might infect _him_ if he didn't do something about this immediately.

A solution comes to mind; giving alms. Indeed, for providing the service of amusement to his majestic self, he shall grant the miko a gold bar for each second of entertainment provided.

Nodding to himself, Gilgamesh made an elaborate gesture with one hand, and a large portal opened in the air, dumping a not-insubstantial amount of gold bars onto the front lawn of the Hakurei Shrine.

Reimu gaped at the gold, before turning to him, eyes wide. "W-what! Is this a trick?! Did Marisa put you up to this?!"

Gilgamesh smirked, patting the young miko on the head. "Merely backpay for services rendered. From this moment onward, you will be paid a stipend of one gold bar per second of entertainment provided to me. Naturally, I shall act as banker until we have set up a proper treasury befitting one such as yourself." With another flourish, the gold mound sank into another portal, leaving behind but a single bar. Picking it up, he handed it to Reimu, grin plastered on his face.

As Reimu began to shake, the king cocked an eyebrow. Is she dissatisfied with his gift? Perhaps his offer was too low. Yes, of course it was too low! One such as Hakurei Reimu could not make do with a measly-

"...that is more gold than I have ever seen in my life. Thank you." she said in a low voice, overcome with emotion.

Gilgamesh laughed. "Consider it an engagement gift."

"Still not marrying you though."

Patchouli cleared her throat.

"Yes? I'm very busy at the moment, Master, if you can't tell."

Nodding her head, Patchouli responded. "Of course, King of Heroes. I merely wish to inform you of my departure. It appears a notorious ruffian has broken into my library once again. One of the documents she's stolen happens to be very sensitive in nature, and it's imperative that I get it back as soon as possible."

With a wave of his hand, a net falled out of a portal, landing at Patchouli's feet.

"Rejoice, Master, for I have deigned you worthy of one of my treasures, a net I once used to capture a thief I found in my treasury."

Patchouli smirked, nodding. "I thank you, King of Heroes."

"Come, Hakurei Reimu. We have much to do!"

"Urgh, fine."

...

As the two approached the Human Village, the guards manning the gate perked up.

"Ah, Reimu, pleasure to see you again! You here for a bit of shopping?"

The guard next to him chuckled at this. "Looks like she got lucky with a donor. Who was it this time? Marisa again, or another one of your pet Youkai?"

Frowning at the lack of respect shown to the miko, Gilgamesh stepped forward, glaring at the guards.

"Fools! You know not who you speak to! When in the presence of Hakurei Reimu, you will address her as Hakurei-sama, Hakurei-hime, or Hakurei-dono!" he commanded, applying knowledge of the language Patchouli had provided to him with upon summoning.

The guard's froze at his glare, the king's A+ Charisma kicking in, before prostrating themselves on the ground before a very confused looking Reimu."Y-yes! We're very sorry, Hakurei-dono! Please forgive us!"

Leaving the guards behind, he lead Reimu into the Village proper.

"Gilgamesh, what did you do to those guards?" Reimu asked, an edge in her voice as she palmed her purification rod.

The man in question shrugged. "I'm good at commanding mongrels. Nothing more, nothing less."

Leaving your fiance to mull over your words, you appraise the Human Village and its inhabitants.

As humans bustle through the street, the king caught sight of vendors, human and youkai advertising their wares. _How curious, that these humans would allow youkai into their village. They must be confident in their ability to defend themselves._

 _Or very foolish._

Approaching a group of resting petty labourers, whose eyebrows raise as he grew closer, Gilgamesh stare down at them.

"I require laborers to renovate my fiance's shrine. You will each be paid three gold bars in advance for your services, and three more upon the project's completion."

There's a flurry of movement as each of the labourers rushes for their tools, standing at attention before the king.

"Lead the way, boss!" the closest one said.

Leading the mongrel labourers out of the village, the King of Heroes frowned at the complacency the architecture of the Human Village implied. Hardly any buildings existed outside the walls, signifying a severe lack of will to expand. His usual strategy of being a "harsh North wind" is nonviable since these humans deal with harsh North winds on a weekly basis. He needed a platform to rally them under his command. To spur them into motion.

"Hakurei Reimu, who would pass as this village's leader?"

"Kamishirasawa Keine would be the closest thing, I guess. Unless you count those buffoons over in the Village Hall."

"My treasury." he responded, walking off towards center of the village. "Let the workers familiarize themselves with the Shrine. I shall return when my business here is concluded."

"O-oi! Where are you going?"

Gilgamesh turned his head, a smirk tugging at the ends of his lips. "To evaluate my subjects."


	4. The Beginning of an Incident

To get a good measure of his subjects, Gilgamesh knew that he must first blend in.

His clothes vanished in a mist of golden prana, replaced by a dark blue yukata. If he remembered correctly, that's what the locals wore during summer.

Wandering around for a bit, he took in the commoners busy at work. Nodding approvingly, Gilgamesh took a moment to observe the various stalls set up.

Many produce and restaurant stalls line the streets, the aroma of food mingling in a haze. Textile stalls are also a relatively common sight, but none of what the king considered 'commoner' clothes interested him.

Stopping one of the men rushing by with a firm grasp of the shoulder, Gilgamesh asked: "Where is Kamishirasawa Keine?"

Pointing towards the schoolhouse, the man shrugged off his hand, returning to the slipstream of human activity.

A grin on his face, Gilgamesh slammed the doors of the schoolhouse open. Class appeared to have already ended, and the only ones remaining are a small blue-haired fairy and the schoolteacher. The fairy jumped at the noise, while the schoolteacher narrowed her eyes at the loud display.

"Yes?" she asked tentatively. "Can I help you with something?"

"I wish to speak with Kamishirasawa Keine, schoolteacher. Can you direct me to him?"

The schoolteacher rolled her eyes at him. "This is a prank, isn't it? Did Akyuu put you up to this?"

Gilgamesh scoffed at the mere possibility of wasting his time 'pranking' this woman. "Of course not. Hakurei Reimu directed me to you when I expressed my interest in meeting with the leader of this town."

Keine brightened up at this. "Oh, you should have said you were an outsider sooner!"

Holding out a hand, the schoolteacher smiled. "Kamishirasawa Keine, at your service! If you need to know anything about Gensokyo's history, I'm your women!"

"And if you need protection," the small fairy chipped in. "I'm Cirno, the strongest in Gensokyo! Ain't no Youkai eating you on my watch!" Striking the quintessential "strong man" pose, the fairy gives the king a confident smirk.

"Hoh, the strongest?" Gilgamesh responded with a cocked eyebrow, reeling in his desire to put this upstart in her place.

Realizing that the man wasn't going to shake her hand, Keine awkwardly shifted the hand onto Cirno's head, smiling down at the girl. "Go play with Rumia for a bit, Cirno. I think she's in the park."

Babbling something about being the "strongest playmate," Cirno flew off, leaving him and Keine alone.

"She's a really good girl, if a bit over-excitable."

When the king said nothing, Keine continued. "She really is the strongest fairy, for what that's worth, but I don't think Cirno is the reason why you're here."

Seating herself at the schoolteacher's desk, Keine placed her forearms on the desktop. "Feel free to ask me anything about the Gensokyo! Outsiders are always welcome in the Human Village, although I must caution you against remaining outside too long. Feral Youkai are certainly a problem, and a strange Lunarian skyship was spotted earlier today."

Suppressing a chuckle at the mention of the 'Lunarian skyship' Gilgamesh began his interrogation.

"Feral Youkai? They are the major danger to humans here in Gensokyo?"

Keine nodded. "Most of the civilized Youkai have adopted alternative diets by now, so the only real issue is the ferals. Although there are some rumours circulating about the Scarlet Devil Mansion, so I suggest you steer clear of it for now."

 _How... interesting._ I'll _have to question that mongrel vampire later._

He nodded along with the schoolteacher's sermon on safety, before interrupting. "And what do most of the villagers here wish for? What do they want the most?"

Keine gave the king an unreadable look at the odd question but answered anyway. "Most citizens of the Village, human _and_ youkai, just live day to day. Harvest their crops, run their shops, and earn enough money to support their families. Simple things, you know?" With a hum, Keine leaned forward, steeping her hands in front of her face. "Now, if you don't mind me asking, what about you? We don't get many outsiders these days, so any information on the Outside World is appreciated."

Gilgamesh frowned. "Outside World?"

"Did Reimu not explain it to you yet? This is Gensokyo, a paradise for forgotten things. Youkai, gods, fairies, and all sorts of being that no longer have a place in the Outside World now live within the Hakurei Border."

 _The Reverse Side of the World? No, humans cannot exist there. Something similar to a Reality Marble then._

His face broke into a manic grin, and deep guffaws echoed through the schoolhouse. From the look on her face, Keine was obviously beginning to question his sanity, but at that point, Gilgamesh couldn't care less.

"A Reality Marble!" he choked out between bouts of laughter. "Those mongrel gods of the East ran into a Reality Marble to escape us!" Devolving once again into intense laughter, the king materialised his golden armour.

"You wish to know who I am, Kamishirasawa Keine?" Marching triumphantly to the doors of the schoolhouse, the man slammed them open.

"Rejoice, humans, for your King, Gilgamesh, has returned to the world!" His voice echoed throughout the Village'scentrer, drawing the immediate attention of all the inhabitants.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Gilgamesh grinned. "To think that you have driven back the gods... I am so very proud of my people! You have all done well to come this far! However,"

Gesturing to the crowd, he made sure to look each and every person in the eye at least once. "Our work is long from over! From this moment onward, I am the ruler of Gensokyo, and humans its first-class citizens. Fret not, for you will all be treated well. Your new head priestess, Hakurei Reimu has already consented to my presence. In fact, we are already engaged to be married!"

The crowd erupted in a flurry of muttering at this, with one woman, who Gilgamesh recognised as the raven-haired girl from Remilia's dinner party, squealing in delight.

"Worry not, Kamishirasawa Keine will remain a preeminent figure in this Village, for she has done a splendid job in holding down civilization in my absence. I hereby appoint her Head of Education in Gensokyo."

Keine sputtered in astonishment. "Wait just one minute!"

Ignoring her, Gilgamesh wrapped up his speech with a bang. Golden portals opened above the heads of every person present, dropping bottles of wine at their feet. "Rejoice, my people, for tonight we shall celebrate my return!" With a dramatic flourish, he whirl around and summoned Vimana.

As the inhabitants of the Human Village cheered, the king decided it was high time he returned to the Hakurei Shrine.

* * *

Momiji stared wordlessly at the skyship the strange man summoned.

"...what in the name of Lord Tenma just happened?"

As the humans around her started chugging ancient-looking bottles of wine, her charge, Shameimaru Aya, snapped away with her camera, ecstatic at her newest scoop.

"Shameimaru-sama, did you really understand any of that?" Momiji asked in a respectful, if exasperated, tone.

"Of course not." Aya dismissed with a wave of her hand. "But it sounded important."

* * *

"I hate to bother you, sir, but what on Earth is primordial wood?! I don't have any way of getting my hands on it for you, so I'm a...afrai-" The man cut himself off, eyes bugging out of his head as a massive golden portal dumped countless tree trunks, building tools and materials. Off to the side, a smelter was deposited off to the side of the camp.

"I don't expect you to possess such materials, commoner." Gilgamesh answered. "I will provide any necessary materials and tools to meet this order."

"Oi!" he heard an irate Reimu call out to him. "Listen, I appreciate the Shrine renovation thing, I really do, but I don't exactly have another place to sleep until it's finished!"

Chuckling at Reimu's display, the king smirked. "I wouldn't worry too much about that, my dearest. After all, your fiance is the King! And the King's Treasury bears the all the fruit's of humanity's progress."

"I told you I'm not marrying you, even if you're a rich bastard!"

Later

A massive shadow overtook the shrine, blotting out what remains of the sun. Reimu slowly raised her head, and gasped in surprise.

"Behold!" Gilgamesh declared, arms spread wide. "My Aerial Garden of Vanity, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon!"

Reimu was a silent for a long moment, although the workers made quite a fuss, pointing at the floating fortress and speaking in hushed voices to one another.

"I'm enabling an Incident." Reimu whispered to herself, shaking a bit.

Putting a firm hand on her shoulder, Gilgamesh grinned down at her. "You're Hakurei Reimu, Miko of Gensokyo. Think about how much you deserve this. After all these years of living like a commoner, no, in conditions _beneath_ a commoner, you deserve better, and besides."

"You defeated the _King himself_ in fair combat. Who would, or even could, oppose you!"

Reimu stops shaking at that, holding her silence for a long while, before she began to giggle, which started off innocent enough, but became more and more maniacal.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Reimu grinned. "You know what, you're right! Fuck what Yukari thinks, I'm going to have this! _**The Great Hakurei Incident!** _ Break out some alcohol, Gilgamesh, I'm done taking this bullshit. It's high time people learned to respect me!"

Still Later

Throwing back the bottle of wine, Gilgamesh downed the contents in one go. This marked his tenth bottle, and only now was he starting to feel tipsy. Cursing his resistance to intoxication, he returned his attention to the miko's rant.

Waving her arms in animated gestures, Reimu slurred out "And then Yukari was all like 'Go to the Moon.' And I'm like, 'Bitch, let me sleep.' But o' course I can't say nothin' to her, so I like 'Go away Yukari.'" Taking another sip of her drink, Reimu continues. "So we hijack the batgirl's spaceship, an' go to the moon. But those moon people... those moon people have Okuu Fans. Thas like... Okuu... in a fan form."

Nodding along with Reimu's story, the oni next to her chugged another few mouthfuls of sake from her gourd. Gilgamesh had no idea how she got in, but his fiance seems to know her, so he let it slide. "You need to like, assert your dominance! Fight the power!"

Reimu nodded, a drunken fire burning in her eyes. "Fuck Yukari, I ain' listenin to her no more! Fight the power!"

"Fuck Ishtar!" Gilgamesh bellowed before downing his eleventh bottle.

"Fuck Sobriety!" Suika slurred out between mouthfuls of sake.

"Fuck Yukari!" Reimu cheers, finishing her glass of sake.

"My my. Would repeat what you just said, my dear miko?"

The fabric of space-time was shredded before Gilgamesh's eyes, and a woman dressed in violet and white walked out of the tear.

* * *

.

.

.

 **AN** : A+ Charisma: At this point, it is no longer popularity or skill, but rather a kind of spell (curse) in itself.


	5. Omake

**The Great Hakurei Incident  
**

* * *

Sanae Route:

You need to find out more about what's going on, and stop this Incident. Kanako remembers what the historical Gilgamesh was like, and he's quite different from this newcomer. You want to look at Patchouli's notes, so you can banish him, and that means visiting the Scarlet Devil Mansion. On the plus side, Kanako and Suwako are willing to lend you a lot of power to deal with this.

Stage One: Cirno  
A constant irritation, as usual.

Stage Two: Meiling  
She didn't give this fight her all. Does the SDM want him gone as well, after that humiliation he gave Remilia?

Stage Three: Sakuya  
Token resistance once again. The SDM isn't willing to openly condemn Patchy, but this change in the status quo is _not_ in their favour. Unfortunately, a certain thief has absconded with the precious documents...

Stage Four: Marisa  
If Marisa also summoned one of these "Heroic Spirits", there's no telling how much damage it could do - and you need access to those notes besides.

Stage Five: Patchouli  
The one responsible for this. Take her down.

Stage EX: Gilgamesh  
This arrogant brute only understands strength and is quite disdainful of gods. It might take a miracle to win...

Stage Phantasm: Reimu  
It seems this Incident has let Reimu let off some issues that were brewing for a while. You didn't even know she _had_ a black shrine maiden's outfit. The point is, you are _really_ not looking forward to this.

* * *

Marisa Route:

Whoa! You barely got away from Patchy (and her weird new net) this time. It sounds like Reimu's in the middle of an incident too, and this 'Gilgamesh' character is at the bottom of it. But where is he? You'll find out even if you have to beat it out of people.

Stage One: Keine  
It turns out Gilgamesh is trying to set up Reimu as ruler of Gensokyo? And also his wife? _Okaaay_ then. Sounds like great blackmail material, though... You need to see this, and maybe see if you can nick any treasures this 'King of Heroes' has.

Stage Two: Suika  
Huh. It sounds like this Gilgamesh guy kicked her down here while the workers remodel the shrine. He sounds like a speciesist jerk, too. Not surprising she went looking for a fight to blow off some steam.

Stage Three: Reisen  
You bumped into Reisen sneaking up on the shrine, in a powered exoskeleton loaded to the ears in high power Lunarian weapons. Seems Eientei has gone all out.

Stage Four: Sanae  
She was in the way and being annoying, so you shut her up with force.

Stage Five: Patchouli  
You've taken her down before, and bringing a few new toys won't change that.

Stage EX: Gilgamesh  
Reimu beat this guy, and you've solved just as many Incidents as her. No matter how bad the odds, you won't give up!

Stage Phantasm: Reimu  
It seems this Incident has let Reimu let off some issues that were brewing for a while. That smile looks a little too unhinged for your taste.


	6. Interlude: Sha Nagba Imuru

_"It's interesting. Even if this isn't your world, in the end, humanity won. Gensokyo is a monument to the victory of humanity over youkai, over spirits, over gods. To the best of my knowledge, there are very few enclaves of the supernatural in the world, and none as large as this."_

 _"Hoh? So there are other nests of you vermin I must erase, once I finish here?"_

 _"Miss Scarlet used to operate out of England, but the pressures of disbelief were too harsh. Is there truly no way to convince you to let us be?"_

 _"Let you be? Let you wretches, hiding in your bubble, feeding off humanity, persist? No. The time for talk is over, Magician."_

 _A dazzling array of portals open behind you, each primed with an extraordinarily powerful weapon. Swords that sought the flesh of monsters, Pikes that stripped away all Mystery, arrows that unmade their targets. "Die."_

 _Ten thousand cracks rent the air, as the sound of death resounds. Your projectiles fly true, fly fair, and split the air in their thunderous wake. They streak towards the one who calls herself Yukari Yakumo, visible only as streaks of colour, twisting in the air to stay on their mark. Precious few beings have survived such a barrage. Enkidu stays behind - there is no divinity within this foe, and to mar your friend with her touch is beyond comprehension._

 _And to a one, they are rebuffed. A sword that cuts mountains in two is crushed into powder with a single swipe of an umbrella. Space twists in impossible_ ways, _and a spear that never misses is coaxed into a head-on collision with itself. Hundreds, no, thousands of impacts ring out, and none of them touch your foe, as she dances through the air with impossible grace, outracing hypersonic projectiles, dodging the undodgeable. Until._

 _"Tch. To resist even passive detection magic..." A hole in her parasol's fabric, and a small cut on her midsection. She reorients on you, closing the umbrella and swiping at the projectiles that continue to harry her. She raises a hand. "Inelegant."_

 _And the Gate of Babylon._

 _ **Closes.**_

 _The stream of projectiles trickles off, as with a sound like shattering glass, one after the other, the Gates you have open cease to respond to your command. You snarl with fury. "You dare touch my treasury?!"_

 _You pull out Bab-ilu with a swipe of your hand. "Face the King's Judgement!"_

 _The lattice that fills the air is sluggish, as if passing through a syrup, but it opens none the less. You bare your teeth. "I was content to kill you before destroying this insipid Reality Marble, but no more. Look upon the destruction of all you value! Come forth, Ea!"_

 _It is not a sword. It predates the concept of swords. That which split the heavens from the earth, it brings with it the Truth of the world, and no Illusion will stand against it. To cleanse this miserable hiding hole is beneath its glory, but you must show this fool, this traitor who abandoned her humanity, the folly of her mistake. All dreams fade, and all fantasies end._

 _"If that is what you wish." She stood firm on the boundary of nothing, reached beyond it, and drew forth ▅▅▅▅_

 _A shapeless thing, abstraction given form, concept bound in the shape of a weapon. **Severance**_

 _She swung, and space itself was split._

 _" **Enuma Elish**!" The divine tool of the gods of yore spun._

 _Two-thirds of Japan vanished._

* * *

"I think it's better for the health of everyone involved if we don't resort to violence for now." Yukari's violet eyes narrowed at the king.

The golden portals behind Gilgamesh faded away. Clairvoyance was _very_ convenient.


End file.
